A Vacant Heart

I am not brave
I’ll never be
The only thing my heart can offer is a vacancy
I’m just a girl
Nothing more
But I am willing, I am Yours

-Be Born in Me by Francesca Battistelli

Humans are creatures of habit. We are partial to an established routine. We wake up at the same time. We fix our hair in the same ways. We order the same thing from each restaurant we go to. We buy a wardrobe full of clothes and somehow they all manage to look the same. We have our fixed seats in church and our parking spots at the mall.

We want, no, we crave order. We plan our years, months, days. We have calendars that tell us what we’re doing when and who we’re doing it with. Everything is settled. It’s planned. It’s easy. It’s comfortable.

But two thousand years ago, a young girl found out that settled, easy, or comfortable aren’t always the words that describe the life that God has planned for you. What must it have been like to have been Mary? Can you see her, just a young girl, living out a simple life that she had planned and prepared for?

Her plans weren’t bad. No, in fact, they were good plans. She would be a wife, a mother, a homemaker. She would serve the Lord as she served her family. But God saw something more in Mary than she saw in herself. She planned to be the mother of her own children, but He planned for her to be the mother of His only begotten Son. He wanted to entrust her with the greatest gift that has ever been given. It was wonderful. It was incredible. It was terrifying.

Her seemingly perfect plans were blown out of the water by the plans her Creator had for her.

The thing about Mary is that she surrendered. She said, “I am the Lord’s. I belong to Him. I am His servant, His handmaid. Let it be as you have said.”

She willingly accepted the disruptive upheaval that God’s blueprint for her life would bring and laid aside the  comfortable plan she had made. Mary didn’t see the whole blueprint at this point in her life, though. She didn’t see the arduous journey to Bethlehem where she would lay the Son of God in a dirty stable manger. She didn’t see the abrupt escape to Egypt. She didn’t know that her baby would be violently opposed by the religious leaders of her day, and I’m sure she didn’t picture her precious Son on the cross. At the same time, she had no idea that the Child inside her would one day open blind eyes, cause the lame to leap and the dumb to speak. She didn’t know that He would calm the winds and the waves or heal the broken heart of a rejected, sinful Samarian woman with His words.

All she knew was that the angel had told her that she would be overshadowed by Highest and that which was born in her would be the Son of God.

And somehow, that was enough.

It wasn’t that she was strong or brave enough, because in all likelihood, Mary was terrified. Her question of how was well founded. The plan that God had for her did not seem to make sense, but in the angel’s answer she found exactly what she needed. It reassured her that God’s power would be with and sustain her and that she would not be alone on this journey He had called her to.

And so, the Savior of the world came, as a little baby in a manger, in the middle of a dirty stable in the small town of Bethlehem to a young, seemingly unextraordinary woman. It was Mary’s talent, wealth, or beauty that allowed her to carry the Savior to a world in need. It was simply her faithfulness, trust and obedience in her God as He directed her one step at a time.

Today, I wonder if He is still looking for some more Marys. I don’t believe He’s looking for someone who has everything that this world thinks we need to be remarkable. I think He’s looking simply for someone who has a vacancy in their heart that Bethlehem could not offer Him. Someone who is willing to set aside their carefully laid plans and take His hand as He leads them step by step to carry His Son to this world.