After this Jesus revealed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias, and he revealed himself in this way. Simon Peter, Thomas (called the Twin), Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples were together. Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will go with you.” They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. -John 21:1-3 ESV
Peter is fishing again. Not for souls, but for fish. Nets, boats, and oars replace the tools of faith, hope, and the Word of God that he has used for the past 3 years. He has returned to his old life with an ease that probably surprises even himself. His hands, though slightly shaky, cast the nets and direct the boats as if he never left. The water hits his face and he pushes forward with ease. He knows what he is doing here. He knows what’s expected of him here. He knows he can do what is required of him here.
The “spiritual” side of me – that part that has been in church my whole life and knows the right words to say – wants to condemn Peter for his foolish return to his old life. Is he really going to go back? He has lived and communed with Christ for three years. He has miracle after miracle – blind eyes have opened, lame men have walked, the possessed have been set free, and 5000 have been fed with a small lunch. He has seen the Savior’s grace extended from the rich to the poor, the great to the small. He has watched the Messiah, his friend and leader, die and then he has seen him alive and victorious once again. He cannot really think that the life of a fishermen will satisfy him now. He cannot think that this will be enough. How could he go back? I want to shake my head at him.
In reality, however, I can see myself in Peter. His life has been a roller coaster since the young Galilean carpenter called his name. He has seen things he never dreamed of and been places he never thought he would go. He has experienced deep loss and sorrow followed by the greatest triumph the world has ever known. And I imagine that Peter is overwhelmed. He cannot fully comprehend all that is going on around him. He knows that Christ is back, and his life is going to change. But likely, he is terrified. And in the midst of all of this, he returns to the one thing he knows he is good at.
After all, everyone knows he is the smart mouth who speaks and acts too quickly. He himself knows he is the one that denied the one person who had looked passed his failures to his potential. He cannot do what is required. So he runs. He runs to the comfortable, the familiar, the easy.
And it brings him nothing. All night he toils. All night he works at the one thing he is supposed to be good at. The one thing that he knows. And he accomplishes nothing.
That is, until they hear the voice of the Savior call to them. Only when they follow his directions do things begin to change.
And as I look at this story, I see myself. And maybe, you see yourself too. I imagine I am not the only one who runs to familiar, the comfortable, when I am overwhelmed. It is so easy to fall back on the things that we find easy when God’s plan for us seems too difficult. And it’s not even necessarily that the things we fall back on our sin or evil. I mean fishing is a valid occupation. But it was not Peter’s calling. He was replacing God’s plan for him with his own safe plan. And when he returned to it to find comfort and peace of mind, he neglected the One who could do just that.
And that’s where I find myself so often, searching for my joy, my peace, my victory in things that were never designed to give me any of those. Often, I throw myself into a busy schedule, only creating a more exhaused, more weary self – instead of seeking help from the One who knows me.
And I’m sure, I am not the only one who does this. I won’t guess at what it is that you throw yourself into, because you and the Lord already know, but I would encourage you to turn to the Lord first.
Peter did the opposite, and he found out the hard way that only Jesus would give him what he needed. Don’t waste a night toiling in the waves, struggling to do it on your own. Don’t let your pride or your fear push you toward comfort and away from the Comforter.
Because there is something about coming to Jesus weary and heavy laden and recieving His rest that is unexplainable.
I don’t know how He does it-how he takes an overhwhelmed, bleeding heart and fills it with joy and peace-but he has done it for me countless time. Over and over, He has shown me that only He will satisfy. He has filled me with joy in dark hours, peace when I should be stressed out of my mind, and hope I didn’t know I could have. Jesus has been everything I need, and He will be for you if you only ask.
I’ll finish with this. Pauls write in Philippians 3:13-14
Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
And this is my goal, to press forward because what is promised to me is is worth so much more than what I leave behind.
A Peace of My Mind 