The Gift of Femininity

“To me, a lady is not frilly, flouncy, flippant, frivolous and fluff-brained, but she is gentle, she is gracious, she is godly and she is giving. You and I have the gift of femininity… the more womanly we are, the more manly men will be and the more God is glorified. Be women, be only women, be real women in obedience to God.” – Elisabeth Elliot

What does it mean to be a woman? If ever our society has wrestled over a question, it is this one at this very moment. Our culture has attempted to define and redefine who or what a woman is. Is she reflected in the lives of shallow celebrities who clothe themselves in the latest, skimpiest fashions and regurgitate the same garbage in every interview that the media tries to feed us everyday? Is that what a woman was designed to be?

What does it mean to be a woman?

Do surgeries and facelifts and hair extensions make you a woman? Because right now, this world is telling us that it does. It’s telling us that you can choose to be a woman, that anyone out there has the right to be a woman. And society throws a fist in the air, because we’re all about our “rights.” But what about the baby unborn, the young woman not yet seen but already unwanted, where was her right to be a woman? Or do your rights only count if your voice is loud enough and your fist hard enough?

I know this is not popular. I know this is not fun or easy, but this is real. To me, being a woman is a right. It’s my right. But before it was my right, it was a God-given gift. In the same way that God gave men the gift of masculinity, He gave us women the gift of femininity. It was a gift designed by our Creator with purpose. And somehow, along the way, we have let society slowly rob us of this precious gift.

Women around the world have been told a list of everything wrong about them. Too loud. Too quiet. Too harsh. Too soft. Too fat. Too skinny. Not smart enough. Not old enough. Not young enough. Too smart for their own good. Not pretty enough. Too dependent on others. Too independent.

And what is left is a generation of women who don’t know what it means to be a woman anymore. Insecure, hurting and full of questions they stand there. And society, of course, has taken advantage of this and rushed in with their own answers. They have told them that women are hard and angry, that they push their way to the top, stepping on anyone in their way. Or they tell them that women are supposed to be provocative and easy. And they erase the softness, the grace that was theirs from the beginning.

And suddenly we have these two different words – woman v. lady.

And I wonder, shouldn’t they mean the same thing? Wasn’t every woman designed to be a lady?

And I know, people want to tell us that to be a lady is to be helpless and unimportant, but I think you underestimate the gift that God gave you.

Look at Ruth, feminine and graceful as the day is long, and yet a hard worker who determined to do what it took to make it.

Or what about Hannah who showed that to be a woman meant to be a prayer warrior.

Mary showed us that to be a woman does not mean that we will not be afraid at times, but that we can have the courage to surrender to the Lord’s plan despite the fear.

Or Rahab. Oh I love Rahab, because she showed us that being a woman does not necessarily mean that you have a perfect past. Sometimes it’s messy. But being a woman means that when you have the chance to walk away from that past towards the redemption God has for you, you take it and you bring as many as you can with you.

There are so many women who have lived and do live in the gift of femininity that God has given them. Elisabeth Elliot. Amy Carmichael. Even my mother, who shows me that being a woman involves a lot of hard work and loving everyone you come in contact with.

Because when it comes down to it, the gift of femininity is not a weakness. It’s not what this world tries to make it out to be.

To be a woman does not involve short skirts or heavy eyeliner. It doesn’t involve a flatter stomach or a thigh gap. It’s not about your achievement in education or your lack thereof.

No, it’s about living the life your Creator designed you for.

And He designed each and every woman with a purpose.

We were created to love and to love deeply. And I get it, in a world as harsh and twisted as ours, to open up your heart is a scary thing. It’s so much easier to close up. But ladies, you were designed to be brave. Because you will need all the strength and courage you have to be vulnerable. You will need grace and determination. But ladies, if you learn to accept the gift that your Creator has given you, you will change this world. Because love and gentleness and kindness and grace and vulnerability, they will open doors that nothing else can and you will reach hearts that a man could not.

So ladies, let the men be men. We need more good, godly men in this world.

But you, you be women. And never let this world steal the gift you have been given.